“My question today is how can I help a negative relative?”
Hello Mr. TT and V,
I’ve been reading your daily emails for some time now, and really appreciate all the work you have done in compiling this information and the writing of your articles.
That takes a lot of hard work and time, and I appreciate you both. I’ve worked through the Feel It Real Powerpack, Imagine, Power, and am currently reading Freedom. I can’t tell you how these materials have opened my eyes and shown me a brand new way to live, feel, and act.
My question today is, how can I help a negative relative?
I have a close relative who lives over 1000 miles away. She is a wonderful woman who has had a very difficult life. She has always been a worrier, and definitely sees the world in an extremely negative way.
Even things I bring up that I think are silly or funny…
…she can twist it all up into something to worry about or explain, or remember in a sad or awful way.
I want to help her, to ease her mind and give her some peace. But I also find that every time I talk with her, I feel like all the energy has been sucked out of me.
It’s exhausting. I have tried doing revision…
…while on the phone with her, hearing her say positive things and sounding happy and energized. I can keep myself in a fairly neutral place doing that, but I feel the negativity raining down from her and can’t seem to get myself back up to a positive place.
Do you have any suggestions or advice on how to:
- Help her see things in a more positive light without offending her.
- Help guard myself from the energy suck that a conversation with her causes me.
Thanks very much both of you for all you do! I’ll look forward to hearing your perspective on this.
Now I’m going to finish my delicious cup of coffee and do a Feel It Real session!
Carol
“Their mood never varies, so they see no change and recognize no law between the mood they are sustaining and the outer world they dislike. If they were told that their mood was causing the phenomena of their life, they would deny it. No one wants to feel that he is solely responsible for the conditions of his life, yet there is no other cause. God is the only cause and he is man’s own wonderful human imagination.” – Neville Goddard
Hi Carol,
One thing we’ve noticed is that many negative people – really do often seem to enjoy being negative.
And that trying to point out the positive to them, or trying to teach them a better way – is met with either outright resistance, or what you say gets subtly ignored and the conversation changed to a different – negative subject.
For many people, being negative – being a victim – being stressed out – is a strategy they have, TO GET ATTENTION from “polite” friends and relatives and even “polite” strangers.
And all that – sucks the energy out of life.
But here’s the most effective solution we have found.
“Interrupt them, if you have to – walk away, and imagine lovingly for them.”
THE MISTAKE MOST PEOPLE MAKE – is PASSIVELY listening to their story, the one that they’ve told anyone and everyone who will “listen”.
POWER POINT: INSTANT REVISION = FREEDOM!
(If you choose to let them continue telling their story – at least REVISE what they are saying – while they are saying it. Hear something LOVELY. Good on you for trying that with her!)
Get Revision to The Max – Just $7 today! – Click Here!
“Think about this, every single time you ALLOW anyone to repeat
their “suck story”, you MAKE them imagine it AGAIN.”
REMEMBER…
If you passively listen to it, you will be imagining it too. You can watch people do that – get sucked into the suck stories people tell – all the time.
So being “polite” and listening to the “suck story” they want to tell anyone and everyone who is “polite” is probably the least loving and most damaging thing you can do.
Imagine lovingly for them!
The most loving thing you can do to create change – is imagine lovingly for them – imagine lovingly for you – imagine lovingly for anyone you meet – – without wasting time listening to their “suck story”.
Because once we get this level of the teachings, you can’t help but notice – there is a decision that you get to make:
You can be “polite” and let them keep re-creating the gloom and the doom. Or you can Follow-The-Formula.
Many blessings to you Carol!
Mr Twenty Twenty and Victoria
Here is THE MASTER KEY to ENDING ANXIETY!
End Manifesting Anxiety Now – Click Here
“The law has its positive as well as its negative side. I am not here to judge how you use the law, but leave you to practice it as you will. If you are in the habit of thinking negatively, you are not going to sustain the thought that you are all you want to be. You may hold it for a few seconds, and if it does not prove itself instantly you may deny it. But in order to play the game of life you must know the rules and apply them. And remember: as in every game, there are rules whose violation causes failure. You cannot deceive yourself, for God is not mocked; as you sow, so shall you reap.” – Neville Goddard
TT and V
I can’t tell you how appreciative I am for this response. I had to digest it for awhile and really think about how this will work in my dealings with this loved one. I was particularly taken aback by:
“Think about this, every single time you allow anyone to repeat their “suck story” you make them imagine it AGAIN. And if you listen to it, you will be imagining it too. (That isn’t good, and that tells us one reason why there is so much suffering in the world.)”
AND
“So being “polite” and listening to the “suck story” they want to tell anyone and everyone who is “polite” is probably the least loving and most damaging thing you can do.”
Then, after opening myself up to those statements, I realize how absolutely true they are. I am not being kind or loving by continuing to listen to the same sad stories and negativity. I will have to do it in as kind a way as I can, but this is what I have to do.
Thank you again so much!
Blessings back at you, TT, V and Emmett the Superdog!
Carol
I can totally relate to this, be prepared to “loose” some of your so called friends, it’s like choosing not to water the weeds in your garden…they will fade away and eventually die when starved of attention and in due course the beautiful rose that you are will begin to bloom more beautiful than ever, no longer having to vie for sustenance with the weeds that made the garden look busy and green yet stifled the growth of what you truly are!! Well done, carol = )
Ps: I am of course talking about energy dying, not people, btw!!
Ha-ha Zarah! Energy yes. I really love your garden analogy. Great way to look at it.
This is so interesting – and helps me feel the power of the social impact..of just doing things I love to do. In a current “social” setting in a business I am creating – I find a real, visceral reaction to…someone and something present.
My mind – brilliant and alert strategist mind – has found the..defense. definition, the description of who I am, why I am right in seeing what is there when no one else (yet) does etc etc etc…
and instead, I have walked away – left the team thread – and spend my time envisioning, feeling, the outcome I choose to create and make real. Instead. Because – I love it. I am in full tilt boogie power there.
I am finding my ego – ? – is begging for recognition by the team… to see what I am holding, why I am creating this thing to begin with…. and I am learning to take a step to remember what it is I am wanting.
The outcome.
The outcome includes me feeling happy, successful – and recognized by the people that can see me.
Not changing the world. Just working on me. Always.
When I am doing what I love and staying in the course – instead of pushing against another’s course – THAT is when I am the miracle maker in my own project.
Ah, edges always that we reach when we are brave and determined to…keep expanding. Expanding through happiness. WOW. YES> Count me in.
Thank you.
Confession time…I borrowed wildly from Neville’s vine lecture there…happy to know it resonates with you and gives you = )s
Ha Ha I love it… I open and random email lesson today -right in the midst of the next experience as I was in when I last wrote here…really…(about the team thread). And that is what I did do. And within an hour of burning through emotions and self talk and responses…honestly I can say I am not only at peace, and happy – but, wishing my partner very well today.
She may never know this or believe this or understand this: but me, I do and I am the creator. LOVE THIS.
I’d like to offer my take on the ‘suck stories’: Those who know me well, are already aware that my sister and I are home caring our 94 year old mother, who has mid-stage Alzheimer’s. Even before mom’s amnesia, suspicion and irrational anger set up shop in her brain, she had, gotta be honest…a real downbeat view of the world. Dementia gives off a powerful psychological toxin all its own. This requires some boots-on-the-ground Neville techniques to keep that sucky stuff at bay – even though we’re aware it is a medical, age-related condition. On days when I am scheduled to spend time at mother’s looking after her, before I leave my house I do an extended feel it real; I revise any past encounters that melted down into open combat with her; I imagine happy conversations where she is having lucid moments, thanking me and laughing with pleasure, over quiet times we have shared. If the chat turns heated and starts growing nasty, I bless her, imagine the best outcome and walk to a new spot in the house, like a sort of pause/reset button in the action. Even with something as intractable as longstanding dementia, it is still possible to manifest change. I can vouch for that! Now I actually look forward to visiting and tending to mom – even though it’s something many other people might avoid, because (they’d sigh) ‘We accept it: Cindy’s mother is just old… weird and impossible’..
Oh Cindy, I can fully relate to your situation, being in a very similar one myself. For some reason, I initially did not think to apply Nevillizing to something so seemingly “intractable”, to use your excellent word, as Alzheimer’s, but have found, over time, that it has ameliorated my mother’s behaviour. And again, it has happened so subtly that one is tempted to attribute it to the natural course of events. Thanks for this!
Nice!
I love how the family gives to each other.
Sharing is caring.
Big love!
TT and V too
I love Zarah’s use of Nevelle’s vine message. I just recently went through the process of walking away from another friend that was very detrimental to me. I have had this happen a few times through the years. She not only drains you but attacks your energy as well. Very Painful! Thanks to Nevelle’s teachings and your teaching and guidance, I am able to recognize this sooner and act on this, coming from love in the healing, even though they are not active in my life today. I am much happier and peaceful. How blessed I am to have you, TT & V, in my life. You both are healing Angels! ! Love and Blessings, Bobbie
Fantastic post. I was saying this to my self after she asked the question: I don’t tolerate Energy Vampires even before I got to the paragraph to read:But here’s the most effective solution we have found. “Interrupt them, walk away, and imagine the best.”
Some people BRAG about their troubles so they can get attention. If you offer them some solutions, they probably will not listen anyway.
Thank you, thank you, thank you…another confirmation from the awesome TT and V. I also enjoyed reading the comments. One <3
I am happy to receive every day thee mails from Mr 20/20 and Victoria, always interesting and clever interpretation of Neville. I very much like also reading the comments.
However, this time it seems to me that i missed something. We are the only one responsible of our life and people we meet in this life, right ? So if i meet people with negative speech, or thoughts, or behavour, don’t you think it is also a reflect of some energy we have inside of us ? and perhaps we should go from there to consider what action is suitable ?
My question is : Is it counterproductive or wasting time to look within ourselves for the suffering that is expressed on the outside in what you call “suck story” ? While using also the “Imagine lovingly for them!” which is an elegant solution. That i practice a lot since i learned it.
What takes care of ALL that, is to simply imagine lovingly. See how that works Paulo? 🙂 (Have fun!)